Susie McYoga, doin’ those poses like its your JOB. I see you. I see you in all your super advanced pose-doing glory. No need to flaunt your chataranga skills. This is 24 HOUR FITNESS. You rest in child’s pose like eeeeverybody else, mk?
Sally McSheerPants. Of course you’re in front of me. OF. COURSE. Why are “yoga grade no one will see your buns” stretch pants not a thing? I feel like as a species we’ve spent a lot of time on space exploration and not enought time making pants that can’t be seen through. The fact that we can get ourselves to the moon but I still have to look at your underwear all through sun salutation just seems wrong.
Grumpers McNoPose. To every pose, EVERY pose you say “welp, THAT’S not gonna happen today.” Seriously, does it happen any day? At all? You know you came to a yoga class, right? How about you try out corpse pose-silently-and stop interrupting my meditative thoughts about open lotuses and the glory that is sunrise.
Old Man McWatchy in the back wearin a polo and NOT doing any poses we all know you’re just here to watch and it’s weird so oh my goodness can you please leave. Go watch TV from a stationary bike. That’s what they’re there for.
I don’t think yoga is making me less judgey but my back sure feels great.
REAL LIFE OBSERVATIONS OUT