Real life thoughts…from yoga class

Susie McYoga, doin’ those poses like its your JOB. I see you. I see you in all your super advanced pose-doing glory. No need to flaunt your chataranga skills. This is 24 HOUR FITNESS. You rest in child’s pose like eeeeverybody else, mk?
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Sally McSheerPants. Of course you’re in front of me. OF. COURSE. Why are “yoga grade no one will see your buns” stretch pants not a thing? I feel like as a species we’ve spent a lot of time on space exploration and not enought time making pants that can’t be seen through. The fact that we can get ourselves to the moon but I still have to look at your underwear all through sun salutation just seems wrong.
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Grumpers McNoPose. To every pose, EVERY pose you say “welp, THAT’S not gonna happen today.” Seriously, does it happen any day? At all? You know you came to a yoga class, right? How about you try out corpse pose-silently-and stop interrupting my meditative thoughts about open lotuses and the glory that is sunrise.
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Old Man McWatchy in the back wearin a polo and NOT doing any poses we all know you’re just here to watch and it’s weird so oh my goodness can you please leave. Go watch TV from a stationary bike. That’s what they’re there for.
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I don’t think yoga is making me less judgey but my back sure feels great.
REAL LIFE OBSERVATIONS OUT

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